Paying Attention
Dear friends,
Hello! Greetings on this last day of summer. I hope you are well!
It’s been a little over a year since I wrote to you, and so much has happened in the world collectively and in my life personally. I have missed connecting with you and have also been aware of my need to step back from usual life and just be quiet and still as in a cocoon. There are reasons for cocoons. Thank you for your emails. As some of you know, my beloved yet distant father passed away, deep into the pandemic yet not of Covid but of a sudden, unexpected stroke and heart attack at the end of August 2020. My world had been rocked by Covid, and then really shook me to my depths with his passing.
Everything in my world seemed to change all at once, as I know has been so many people’s experience as well, in different ways but leaving us all pretty much CHANGED.
The transformation process that I have been immersed in for a year (and still am) has been profound….a reckoning that has blessed me with many gifts as well as the pain. Without going into all the details right now, I also lost my 18+year massage position at Smugglers’ Notch Resort due to the Mountain Massage Center not opening up for 2 summers now since Covid. I could have found a safe way to practice massage out of my house, but my health was already compromised after contracting the virus back in February 2020, before we all really knew what it was happening. My energy level plummeted, brain fog enveloped my head, and I found myself uncharacteristically intolerant of even doing yoga. Even restorative yoga.
When beings, human or animal or plant, are faced with immense change, it is natural to pull in, find comfort, and hunker down for a time. During this time, the biggest gift has been paying attention to the smallest details of my life, after so much has been stripped away….and realizing how precious they are—the colors in the sky at sunrise, the smiles of my granddaughters, the flower in the grass, the smell of Vermont air in full harvest-time, the stone laying silent in the road. Never before have I felt like I’ve lost everything—my health, my parents, my vocation, my strength, my youth….and yet have discovered the truth of what really matters.
Many people say this, that in times of change and crisis, that stripped bare, the things that really matter become so clear. This world is so abundant and beautiful, our people we love are so dear, this life we have in this amazing human form is really a gift.
Realizing this, I would like to offer what has helped me to not only survive but thrive during these unprecedented times. I’m now enrolled as a part of a study by pulmonologists at the University of Vermont on the effects and treatment of “Long Covid”, and along with my self-care knowledge and amazing mentors, there is so much to discover and remember these days!
I’ll continue to connect with you to go into each of the facets that have brought to me a sense of being truly alive and able to live a vibrant life, as I take care of my body, mind and spirit—through aging gracefully, recovering my energy, and living a soulful life—which applies to all bodies, at any age. Please join me in paying attention. I believe as each of us human beings find health and meaning, we naturally imbue these blessings to all other beings around us—collectively called our world, our entire planet of life, those we love and don’t even know.
May you be healthy and find comfort. May all beings live in safety, health and happiness.
Big hugs, take care and do all the cosy things as the air turns cooler 🙂
Love, Lizabeth
Care versus Cure
Lake Champlain shore and sunset from a recent visit
Hello dear ones,
What a summer we are having! Quarantining, social and political upheaval, climate crisis–unprecedented times for our whole world, which make for lots of unknowns and possibilities for metamorphosis.
The other day, myself and couple of our community members were mulling (online) about this word metamorphosis. It came up when we were wondering what other words we could use instead of saying “the new normal”.
Metamorphosis, in the wise words of one of my dear sisters:
“Like butterflies. Transformation into something beautiful. Let’s all work together to make things better. With our neighbors, with our friends, our family. Kindness towards strangers. Patience with ignorance. Helping each other instead of waiting for government agencies to help….I can’t do much about world affairs but I can start right here at home, and try to set a good example.”
There is no going back. There is no normal. Things are always in a state of flux or change. In a recent reading of the amazingly pertinent The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, the author states,
“All that you touch
You Change.
All that you Change
Changes you.
The only lasting truth
is Change.
God
is Change.”
So in our daily lives, how do we deal with so much change? I don’t know, as I am navigating it differently each day. I seem to do ok for awhile, and then have a “Covid Crash”, where all I can do is cry, curl up on my couch and sleep…and also alternatively, seek comfort in a whole pint of ice cream.
One thing is clear is that really there is only groundless ground, as Pema Chödrön details in her Buddhist wisdom books, When Things Fall Apart and The Places That Scare You. Embracing the joy, embracing the pain, embracing the anxiety….moving towards what is actually happening seems to level it out and bring me back to a sense of calm even in the midst of the storm. Magic.
So it’s not a matter of trying to CURE anything….in myself, in others, or in the world. It’s a matter of CARE. Caring for myself these days means not running away from what is changing (although that pint of ice cream can be really good self care in some instances), caring for others by listening and accepting differences and being kind, caring for the world by showing up and doing what is calling me (and I can’t do it all! I have my own unique gifts to serve the world and what a deep pleasure it is to go down that path. Thank you to my daughter for reminding me of this this week!).
I have and have had many teachers in my life. These days I am not looking to them for the cure anymore, the final places where I have everything figured out for what bothers me….but instead, endeavoring to understand the personal mythology of my own life and learn from it. This is my own true north now, the deepest way I know of walking through this world with self care.
Caring versus curing…being fluid versus normal…curiosity versus judging. And remembering that when I fall into old patterns, to be caring, fluid and curious about that too!
Wishing you all the best this week and always as we navigate these new waters.
Much love,
and gratitude for each of you in this amazing community <3,
Lizabeth
Know Thyself and Be Free
Summer greetings, dear community!
I have been enjoying a couple solo camping trips to my local state parks, social distancing and doing a lot of swimming and cold splashing in my outdoor shower to cool down in this warm Vermont summer. How about you??
The title for this week’s journal post is from my Sivananda Yoga practice. I have been attending a community class online which I am so grateful for in this time of Covid-19. I have been practicing on the deck outside in the early morning, and today’s practice was exceptional!
The Sivananda practice is a set of asanas, and without mindfulness it can become routine. So there are many opportunities and prompts to reflect inward and become mindful of what you are doing, how it feels after doing a posture or pranayama, especially when lying down into shivasana, the resting pose.
The instruction is to take shivasana, the resting pose as your sacred space and feel what the asanas do for your body, spirit, mind. Know thyself and be free.
Today, as I was led into deep reflections on how my whole body and spirit were feeling, pausing at length to give time to reflect, a beautiful fluttering butterfly came to rest on my hand….it felt like the spirit of Nature herself was resting with me, saying “yes, this is it”. Have you felt that way as well when you give yourself time to be totally in the moment with body, mind and soul? There is such beauty in being present and aware. I am so grateful in these times.
The photo above is the butterfly which landed on me, a Holly Blue butterfly, a very magical being! These tiny butterflies are an ethereal, Virgin-Mary blue and they dance lightly through the air, stopping occasionally at flowers to take nectar. This one, this morning, took a sip of me.
It is when we slow down and find space in all that we are doing, and all that is happening in the world right now, that the magic is apparent and can be so healing.
Summertime is the Pitta season, according to Ayurveda, the season of heat, of digestion (which is heat in our digestive systems and heat in our minds to digest food and nutrients, and also the issues of the day!). This heat is called “agni” in Ayurveda, and is so indispensable to our well-being. Digesting nutrients and also interpersonal interactions is essential, and without agni, we tend to have sluggish digestion or repressed/unresolved emotions, both of which can become chronic issues. On the other hand, too much agni can heat us up too much, into acid reflux or anger for example.
A couple of wonderful ways to balance the heat of Pitta season and of agni:
- take a small after-lunch nap or rest time (just like we offer to young children, there is a good reason!)
- create space between eating meals so the agni fires up and then lets off in a cyclical manner instead of just firing all the time.
Balance is that ephemeral quality that we know in our souls. It is not a solid thing, but a quality of groundedness, spaciousness, freedom and ease.
A friend once told me that when she was involved in a program to help her stop drinking, she was encouraged to remain mindful of balance: Don’t get too hungry, too tired or too lonely, as these are the times when we tend to lose our intentions and fall into habits we want to move out of. That advice has stuck with me, as I am one who tends to forget to eat and can get easily fatigued (a lack of agni) and forego activities that actually make my heart sing. It can become a negative spiral, I can say from experience!
So these hot summer days, I am paying attention, practicing yoga and shivasana, eating regular meals with space between them and remembering to lay down for a little nap. Ayurveda and attention to soul care have made all the difference in balancing the fire of this season, of this pandemic time, of my life.
Wishing you balance and self-care as we enjoy the warmth of summer!
Love, Lizabeth
A Summer Day
Hello Dear Ones,
Happy Summer! Hope this journal post finds you well and spending time enjoying the abundance of Nature around you, which is so healing in this time of change and emergence in our world.
This picture is from my garden, a climbing old-fashioned fragrant rose that just bloomed on Friday…an auspicious and glorious day.
Sharing a poem today by Mary Oliver who in her wise woman way portrays the essence of spaciousness so beautifully–dedicated to my three precious granddaughters, the newest one born Friday evening <3 <3 <3
Enjoy the moment. Pay attention, be the prayer.
So much love,
Lizabeth
Into the Water
Photo of Lake Winnipesaukee in Moultonboro, NH
Happy Summer, my friends!
As always, I hope this finds you and yours healthy and safe.
I am doing well at my home in Vermont, enjoying lots of quiet, home projects and sunshine. The Mountain Massage Center at Smuggler’s Notch Resort, where I have worked and also practiced yoga with many of you for years here in Vermont, is closed this summer due to Covid-19. I am so glad once again to be in touch with these journal posts!
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, the Summer Solstice occurred over the weekend, and wow, this is it! Look around, this is the time of fullness, of greenery, of abundance.
The sun is the highest in the sky for the year, and the days the longest. Take time to look around, to breathe in the fresh air, to notice the green grass, the flowers, the warmth, the butterflies….all of nature is celebrating.
One of the best ways I know of to celebrate summer is getting in the water, preferably outside in a lake or stream or sea. What a feeling of jumping in, launching out into the air for a second or two (or stepping in slowly one toe at a time!) and then immersing in the cool waters, enveloping my body and spirit in refreshment. So good for the soul!
Getting in cool or cold water during this season is a primo way to cool down and balance the warmth in our bodies and from the strong sun. In Ayurveda which has revolutionized my self-care practices, it’s all about balance.
And in our self care explorations, there is no one way for everyone. And no perfectionism. Just awareness of what feels right. My belief about self-care is that it is about paying attention to yourself.
So cool the heat. Let go of the stress. Calm the busy mind. Water is one of the ways to do that. See how it feels, and notice, enjoy.
Water is pleasure, and one of the ways we can break out of patriarchal ideology of work, work, work– is to let go of perfectionism and create pleasure. More on pleasure activism coming soon! But for now, I invite you to notice and prioritize what feels easeful, restful and pleasurable.
Toes in the sand. A shady spot to just sit and look around, smelling the fragrance of flowers. A special massage of your body with lightly scented lavender lotion. Drinking a big glass of herbal tea. Going on a vacation to a lake house and relaxing on the dock. Staying home and ignoring the to-do list so you can lay on the floor and stretch or rest. Taking a leisurely walk around the block. What does pleasure look like to you right now?
If you don’t have a pond nearby, consider setting up a cold water outdoor shower! There is something much different about rinsing off outside after a long day of summer gardening rather than going inside for a warm shower.
Here’s how I made an easy outdoor shower that was so inviting, I splashed off 5 times yesterday out there:
- get a couple wooden pallets, one for the floor and one for a side wall, and set them up in a semi-private place next to a tree trunk.
- the sidewall and situating the shower near a tree affords a small amount of privacy.
- get your garden hose and bring it out to the shower area, slinging it over the wall so it points down.
- collect a large bucket with a lid and a dipper and a towel
- disrobe indoors and wrap up with the towel and go outside
- fill the bucket with water and use the dipper to pour cold water over your body, simply delicious!
- take yourself wrapped in the towel to the nearest hammock and put your feet up!
Ahhhh. The simple joys of summer. My granddaughters love getting naked and splashing in their little pool or splash pad. So can we as adults!
With a little ingenuity, with a little sense of adventure, find the ways to enjoy getting into the water. Your body and soul, skin and mood will thank you! And you will be practicing immensely good self care.
Jump in the pond, make an outdoor shower if your yard allows it, put your feet into a stream, drink a cool glass of herbal iced tea.
Mint and rose iced teas are my summer favorites. Just put the leaves or tea bag in a quart jar out in the sun, and come back a couple hours later and pour the tea over ice cubes. A fresh leaf or slice of fruit in the glass is divine.
How about you? Dream right now of how you can bring more pleasure into your day. Stay with your attention on how it feels. What’s your favorite watery pleasure these hot summer days?
With love and care, peace and waves,
Lizabeth
Dear Friends,
I hope you are well and taking lots of rest!
First of all, as our world is in the midst of change, continuing human atrocities, and the uprising of truth, and as a white person leading this community of self-care, I realize that when I offer resources, my experiences through my journal posts and discussion, that this is through my lens as a white person, and may not be helpful or relevant to BIPOC (Black Indigenous Person of Color) in this community. I do not ever want to be hurtful. My intention is not to leave BIPOC members out as I work to be anti-racist, but I realize that I may be doing just that with my perspective. I have made and will make many mistakes along the way. I am always open to any and all feedback if you would like to offer it.
That said, the self-care practices offered here in this community are for all women, regardless of race, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, religion. I am adding an extensive inclusion statement to my website to make this exceedingly clear. I am paying for and learning from BIPOC-led programs. I am also revamping the 10-week self care course I intend to offer so that it is a practice of liberation on every level, to the best of my ability. Until #BlackLivesMatter, no one is ever free.
White supremacy and racism has harmed black and brown people for over 400 years and has been baked into the very bones of our American society. The characteristics of white supremacy are also the underlying basis of the self-care blocks that I have seen women friends and course members face in the years that I have taken up facilitating self-care practice.
This article highlights the characteristics of white supremacy (click here), all of which I have embodied unconsciously and so thoroughly. I am in the process of breaking it all down, and am starting to feel the inklings of freedom.
The article showed me how much my own personal dysfunction comes out of adhering to these damaging rules of perfectionism, sense of urgency, defensiveness, quantity over quality, worship of the written word, paternalism (patriarchy), either/or thinking, power hoarding, fear of open conflict, individualism, progress is bigger and more, objectivity and a right to comfort.
I agree with one of my teachers, Gracy Obuchowicz who says,
“I’ve come to believe our self-care problems are not individual problems but rather societal ones that stem from a passed down system of white supremacy. Sure, our childhoods may have something to do with it but our parents and grandparents and their parents have all been raised in this society. We’ve taught each other the dysfunctional practices of perfectionism, materialism, inability to hear criticism, denial of emotions, and subjection of others for our own means. As a result, we’ve created a world that is dangerous and toxic to anyone who isn’t white, failed to cultivate our emotional and spiritual lives, and as a result we are filled with delusion and when we dig deeper, self-hatred.
I share all of this because working for an antiracist world is completely the right thing to do. Until #blacklivesmatter, none of our lives matter.
However, I also share it because I believe that our spiritual liberation as white people is tied up in the liberation of black and brown people in our world. Until we address the trauma of white supremacy (in the world and in ourselves) we will continue in a fog of perfectionism, dehumanizing ourselves by ignoring or belittling the atrocities that happen everyday, and miss the connection, creativity and beauty we could experience by creating liberation for all.”
Standing with the Black community,
with care,
~ Lizabeth
Prayer for Today
Dear Inner Sanctuary Self Care Community,
Today I’m sharing this prayer and photo from a Buddhist community here in Vermont:
“In these times of fear, anger and unrest,
may we give to all those we meet or think about,
the gift of respect, the gift of caring, the gift of fearlessness.
May we see each person, being and thing as a shining jewel in the vast web of interconnectedness.
Recognizing that we are not separate,
recognizing that each has the spark of Buddha Nature.
May there be peace in the nation.
Peace born of safety.
Peace born of mutual respect and care.
Peace born of lovingkindness.”
Take awesome care of yourself this week! Our self care practices truly sustain us, little bit by little bit. Remember to slow down and rest.
A friend reminded me yesterday, that when I hear my wind chimes, to stop and reflect on the beauty of the moment. I did just that…and ended up stringing up a hammock outside under my deck to be quiet and listen to the wind and rain.
With so much love,
~ Lizabeth
Resources
Dear friends,
I hope you and your loved ones are well! Here in Vermont, the snow is gone and the song birds are back. Each morning I sit on my screened porch with my coffee and listen in stillness. Nature, the rising of the sun, the setting of the sun, the flowers that come each Spring, the birds that return…be watching for these perennial signs, they can help to bring natural structure to these days.
Nature is a huge resource that is given freely and in abundance.
Here is another resource for you, a video that a dear friend sent me. I hope that it helps you as much as it has helped me!
What other resources are helping you these days? Thank you for all the responses, whether you keep them in your heart or send them my way. I treasure each of them and you.
With love and care, be well,
Lizabeth
Belonging
Dear Friends,
I hope you and your family are well, and that you celebrated Mother’s Day in your own beautiful way (you still can!)…keep doing things that make your heart sing and your immunity strong!
Immunity boosters: Fresh air, happiness, nourishing sleep, releasing emotions, self-massage, meditation, lots of fresh greens (the things that are growing now, in season), body movement, creative pursuits, and belonging, love & safety. Whether this is family, a craft circle, neighbors, a self-care group!, spiritual community, co-workers, school, the place you live….we humans have a need to belong.
However lost you might feel in these tumultuous times of uncertainly and isolation, remember to look around you to Nature and walk outside, feel and breathe the air, let your mind rest on the sky, trees, flowers, birds, breeze…let the wildness, of which you are a part of, soothe your heart.
WILD GEESE, by Mary Oliver
“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
In community,
and with love,
Lizabeth
One Little Step At A Time
Hello dear ones,
I hope you and your family are well and slowly adjusting to a new way of living. I think of everyone often as I’m on my own here in my humble home in Vermont. It’s so nice to be in touch through these journal posts!
I’m welcoming in the (slightly) warmer days of Spring, along with celebrations of Beltane or May Day last Friday, Cinco de Mayo today, and Mother’s Day this Sunday. All blessings!
Every day I get outside and go down to visit my little brook that runs through this land–from the slopes of Woodbury Mountain, down through the fields, crossing into the woods I steward, becoming what is named the Elmore Branch, then flowing into the Lamoille River, then flowing into Lake Champlain.
It gives me great pleasure, comfort and a sense of the sacred to sit by the water. Of course these benefits are immeasurable, quite literally…they are unquantifiable, and vastly healing and helpful. In a world that commodifies everything, I find much solace in being outside that conventional box, and knowing what is of value by how I feel in my heart.
The water brings me a sense of timelessness, of constancy, of change, of health and wealth, of peace. It reminds me, as it traverses such long distances, that progress is made stone by stone, river rock by river rock, mountain into field, one little step at a time.
One little step at a time has become my mantra. When I feel overwhelmed by the new changes in my life and livelihood, when I just cannot get started and am still in my pajamas at 1pm, I remember “one little step at a time”….whether that is starting my day, weeding an overgrown patch of garden, getting outside for a walk, or making phone calls when I’m such an introvert.
Kaizen, a method of tiny little steps which, one after another, result in big change, is how I have been approaching my self-care and my life.
Start by picking the lowest hanging fruit.
For example, yesterday I knew I needed to call my excavator friend and I had been putting off doing that, dreading knowing that the cost of repairing my washed out driveway (remember the Halloween Storm of 2019??) would be big.
So my Kaizen move was just to open my old-fashioned address book to his name and leave it on my kitchen table overnight. In the morning, the next step flowed easily, I just picked up the phone and dialed the numbers. Turns out he was in the neighborhood, and we set a time to meet. The phone call I procrastinated on for so long, became an easy when I set myself up with a tiny, un-intimidating step.
I’ve been breaking everything down into tiny Kaizen moves. Like just walking out and observing the garden bed, and that’s all for that day.
Then the next day finding my tools and laying them out, and that’s all.
Then the next day, spending 5 minutes taking the tools out to the garden and weeding a tiny patch….I can now report that the irises in the entire patch are now choke-free from grass!
Kaizen is how I have been “beginning” with most everything, when the fears of the unknown added to the many other emotions of these times, seem to paralyze or disorient me.
Kaizen slows my world down. Tiny moves take the pressure off. And in this time of pandemic and having lots of time to contemplate, living a non-hurried life, a non-pressured life is how I want to live. I’m getting things done. I’m lowering my stress level dramatically. I’m sleeping a lot better.
In the coming days, try taking the tiniest step that you can, then rest and see where it takes you, in mind, body, spirit. Notice.
I have found, that just like a little stream going over each little rock, that life just flows more naturally when I go with the next tiny best step….which sometimes ends up with big results, as in Lake Champlain. Certain results are not promised–nothing in life ever is–but the journey along the way is more enjoyable.
It’s actually how I write these journal posts each week. If I faced the whole project at once, I would be stuck. Instead, I muse about a subject early in the morning when I journal. Later, I write the title, and let that sink in. Then after awhile, I pick a beautiful image. And then the words just flow.
Like Anna says in the movie “Frozen II”, which I watched and thoroughly enjoyed the other night (I wanted to know who my two granddaughters were talking about!), “Take the next best step….” when she was confronted with immense grief and big unknown territory. Thank you Anna!
Don’t believe my word for it (or Anna’s), try Kaizen for yourself and see what happens.
Until next week, be safe…and wishing you yummy tacos for Cinco de Mayo, and always, gentleness with yourself no matter what.
Much love, Lizabeth